Friday, September 27, 2013

I Can Say 'No" and The World Won't Stop Revolving!

I have recently learned that I can say No to my kids and the world won't stop...  I have learned that  constantly trying to keep them from making mistakes has harmed them more than helped them....  I have also learned that the they need to "pay the price" for forgetting their homework....  In the past, I would worry so much about their grades that I would rush to the school with their forgotten papers.. If they forgot their lunch - I was right there with their lunch bag or Taco Bell (seems like I rewarded them for forgetting?)

I took it upon myself to make sure that they didn't miss a thing...  By accommodating to their every mishap - I prevented them from growing up responsible..... I prevented them from feeling the sense of accomplishment.  I was too busy following up behind them to make sure nothing was forgotten - homework was done - they studied for their test - they brushed their teeth. ... The list is endless....

When our oldest was in the Wilderness Camp - she was expected to take care of herself.  She learned to be self reliant and if she didn't do what she was suppose to do - she paid the consequence.  A great example she told me was this...  One night they were setting up camp - the counselors advised that there was a chance that it might rain that night and to be sure to use their rain tarp....  Well, my kid was just too tired and thought the counselors were being overly cautious.... She did not roll out the rain tarp because it was too much work and she just hiked 5 miles.  At 3:00 in the morning the flood gates of Heaven opened up and she was soaked to the bone.  She had to get up - get the rain tarp and gear and cover herself in the poring rain.  The result was her sleeping bag, clothes, and other belongings got drenched.  If she had prepared for the rain she would have slept through the night warm - dry - and toasty....  Having learned this lesson - I'm pretty sure it would not happen again..

It seems to me that I learned a lot during the several weeks my girl was away...  By helping her too much - I didn't give her the chance to screw up and then learn from it...  I am trying really hard to review what is a need and what is a want...  I have discovered that a "want" is not a "need" many times...  And giving into the "want" may be not be the right thing to do - because they just may need me to say No...



Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin